did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
