last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
