Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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