omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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