You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
