What a fucking waste of an outfit
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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