Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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