i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
