you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
