he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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