I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Randomize
