i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
