I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
i think im in europe. pls send help
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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