Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
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My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
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Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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