The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
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I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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