Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Randomize
