This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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