We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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