talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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