So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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