i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
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She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
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We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
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