Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
