We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
