In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
