PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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