you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize