OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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