Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Ladies don't puke and tell
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
