its not stalking. its research.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize