apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
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By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
We're too hungover to prance.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
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