You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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