Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
