i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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