it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
