Where are you?
In a non slutty way
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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