nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
