3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
