Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize