My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
