I only kidnapped one of them. chill
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize