I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Randomize