Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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