My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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