Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
My vagina just clenched in fear
I have peed in a lot of sinks
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
