have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
