All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
