i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
