dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
