Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
