Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
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I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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