Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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