Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
