Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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