can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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