i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
