I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
