"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
