grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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