is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Randomize
