bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
