how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
