I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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