I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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